Denial

I think I might have (somehow, mysteriously and magically) caught salmonella again. It feels kinda like last time; my stomach is acting weird again and I've been having headaches frequently.

But this is the thing about me; I'm in a constant state of denial.

If I think I have salmonella, I just block it out and deny it even exists. I have had a toothache lately, and tootcaches really suck. But I've just been ignoring it. Trying to pretend it's not even there.

I'm alo like that emotionally. A couple of weeks ago I was kinda sad, like love-sad, but I just tried to surpress it. (Not that that worked out very well, I was being a bitch towards everyone.)

It's weird. It would probably be a lot better for me if I just tried facing what is actually there; Getting my blood analyzed or going to the dentist. Then my problems would be fixed in no time.

But I guess I would rather live in denial than having to face the fact that I have salmonella or that I have to do a root cannal. Or the fact that my love life is a failure.

So now I'm gonna go live hapily in oblivion until the tooth gets too much to bear and my stomach hurts so much I have to go see a doctor.

Until then

Oda

(The picture is Sam Riley. He's my new male ideal, I will never settle for anything less)